Valentine’s Day will be here soon. In the Ryder household, Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark Holiday. Andy and I joke that it was designed to make the card company money so we celebrate it minimally. After 25 years together, it seems like because we are blessed to still have each other every day is a day worth celebrating each other and if we are only nice to each other with gifts and dinner one night a year, we have other issues that need to be addressed.
I do remember one particular Valentine’s Day back in my pre-Andy days. I was a junior in high school and had no Valentine to be with. Rather than pout, I decided to have some fun. My mom, sister and I were all single so I contacted Dairy Queen in Orrville and had them make a special ice cream cake for the three of us. It was not a bashing men cake but rather a “let’s celebrate anyway and I’m always looking for an excuse to have ice cream cake” kind of day. So I asked them to write something along the lines of “Happy No Boyfriend Day.” They did. Perhaps they get strange requests like that regularly or perhaps they are just that kind, but there was no judgement, we got our cake, the three of us giggled about it, and we enjoyed every last crumb of our anti-Valentine’s cake.
But what about those people who lost their Valentine this year? What about the ones who found themselves single and they weren’t expecting it? I think of my sweet friend who was recently widowed, something she could have never anticipated 12 months ago. How does she feel this year? My heart breaks for her and for others finding themselves in the same position. They are trying to find a new normal, whether they wanted it or not. What can we do to comfort them? Obviously sending her a “you don’t have a boyfriend cake” wouldn’t be appropriate. But I can call her and tell her that I am thinking about her – which is exactly what I plan on doing. Sometimes our most anticipated days (like a day when you get a nice dinner and flowers from your man), we forget that it could be one of the loneliest days for someone else. So if you have someone in your life who is experiencing a sad Valentine’s Day this year for lack of a better term, support your local card store and send a card to them to let them know that they might not have their Valentine with them this year but they do have your friendship.
And since this is a real estate column, I will end with this. For those of you grieving the loss of your spouse on this first Valentine’s Day without them, here is the best real estate advice I can give you. Slow down. You may end up selling your house but in most instances you don’t have to right away. You may end up moving far away but doing it during the grieving process may not be the best time. If possible and practical, wait for one year before making any major decisions with regards to your house. Of course there are exceptions but this is the general advice I have heard from others who help grieving people and I would say that in my experiences, I would agree.
To everyone reading this, I hope that your day is fantastic, your week is blessed and your Valentine’s Day is full of chocolate.
Esta Ryder, Realtor
Ryder Realty, LLC